Purgatory on Earth by Prospero E. Pulma Jr.

Purgatory on Earth

By Prospero E. Pulma Jr.

Note: I wrote this nearly two years ago. I posted it here before it is completely forgotten. Besides, it’s been months since I updated my blogs.

They say that marriage is bliss. It is a fountain of love, inspiration and joy. And it is also a good source of misery and jokes like giving a person a glimpse of heaven, purgatory or hell - if he makes the wrong choices from his mate down to his performance as a spouse. When you are in my age group, people expect you to be married or planning to settle down soon. But times have changed. If cohabitation and gay unions are becoming fashionable, I believe that bachelorhood or spinsterhood would never be out of style.

For all of its romantic notions, marriage is not all about romance, taking a spouse, living under one roof, sharing a bed and making babies. Reciting the marriage vows is probably the easiest part while remaining faithful to your oath before God and man is the hardest.

Indoctrinated in Catholic schools about the sanctity of marriage and exposed to Western and local media trumpeting scandalous celebrity divorces, I could not help but wonder if the world has gone mad. The age-old tradition of married couples sticking it out until death draws them apart has been shattered by spouses parting ways over flimsy reasons, as if our forebears lived in trouble-free unions. Domestic violence and infidelity may be valid reasons for dissolving a marriage, but the speed with which people like Britney Spears break up with their partners has made marrying such a big joke. Britney, after all, gained publicity mileage for dumping her husband in record time. As if breaking speed limits in marital breakups in not enough, it has become a bad habit among celebrities to change their spouses as often as they change their wardrobe. Since they are more likely to be emulated than the saintly Mother Teresa, more dysfunctional marriages may be in the offing.

Unlike defective goods that can be replaced, marriage is for keeps and has a “no-return-no-exchange” policy. But thanks to the wave of liberalism that has swept the world, spouses can now bail out at the slightest sign of marital discord. But for those in turbulent marriages, liberal laws are definitely godsend.

Choosing the right spouse is probably one of the hardest decisions that a person can make in his life, with some praying for divine intervention in choosing a suitable partner. There should be no room for error because it will condemn an individual to live through hell on earth.

Unless one is planning to migrate to Antarctica or flee and live incognito after the wedding reception, dealing with in-laws comes with the package. Meddlesome relatives, the mother-in-law chief of them, are sore points in a marriage. Living several time zones away from your nearest kin may be a wise move, but technology and an indomitable will to meddle in another person’s affairs can effectively bridge the distance. Choosing the right family sometimes takes precedence over marrying the right person.

As for the financial costs that marrying entails, staging a lavish wedding should be demoted to a minor concern. I do not want to strip marriage of its essence - love- but in these hard times, considering many things first before setting an altar date is prudent. Since love is not convertible to cash and is definitely inedible, is it not wise to assess the depth and health of one's pockets first before tying the knot? It maybe a once in lifetime event for most people, but emptying your coffers for grand nuptials is unwise. There will be bills to pay and more children to feed, clothe and send to school as your family grows. I am not suggesting that they should settle for fast food value meals for the reception, but a little savings can come in handy when you are starting to raise a family.

Regarding procreation, the newlyweds’ financial situation should again be assessed first before they pitch in perpetuating the species. Bearing children is a blessing, but letting them live in penury in a curse. Besides, raising small families and marrying late can effectively contain our country’s rapid population growth. I have been taught that a person can choose to be married, remain single or enter the clergy. We are all offered three entirely different, life-altering choices that cannot be made with a simple flip of a coin. I have already ruled out pursuing a religious vocation because of the rigid rules. And I do not care if I miss the last trip to the altar. If I will be made to choose between living a married but turbulent life and a lonely but peaceful existence, I will choose the latter anytime.