Arkham Philippines By Prospero Pulma Jr.

Arkham Philippines

Arkham Asylum, in Gotham lore, is where Batman keeps some of his “friends,” namely the Joker, Two-Face, Scare Crow, Riddler, etc., under lock and key. In the Philippines, the incarnations of the Dark Knight’s netherworld buddies are not found in some desolate and fortress-like cage for madmen. But they do possess similarities with their DC comics’ counterparts that the only thing lacking is a billionaire brave enough to take on these powerful entities, and we can change our country’s name to Gotham.

Take, for example, the Joker, who is best known for his literally wicked sense of humor. With the May 2007 elections just a few months away, voters are getting inundated with campaign commercials that did not require much creativity to conceptualize. The result? Political advertisements that border on the comic, with some straying on the stupid, are competing with local sitcoms for making viewers roll over in laughter. And the candidates, with their insincerity shining through, are such poor actors that they won’t even win The Razzies’ Worst Actor Award.

The next fiend is The Riddler a.k.a. Edward E. Nigma, who enjoys confounding the Caped Crusader with riddles that will drive any average-witted fellow insane, but we all know that housed in the Dark Knight’s cranium is a powerful cerebrum (That is so highfaluting medical!). In our country, deciphering the double-speak of politicians is worse than solving The Riddler’s most baffling puzzle. Did I mention that E. Nigma is also a topnotch crime boss?

Perhaps, the character that comes closest as a clone of our politicians is Two-Face. His nom de guerre is self-explanatory, so I will just delve into his background. Before he became Arkham’s celebrity inmate, he was Harvey Dent, Gotham’s District Attorney and Bruce Wayne’s, that’s Batman by day for non-Batman aficionados, friend. A legal eagle turned criminal who is so indecisive that he flips a coin just to make up his mind may not only be an apt description for Two-Face, but it can also sum up the gross traits of some politicians.

As for wishing for a homegrown Bruce Wayne, we can forget about that wish, because the Dark Knight’s methods, though effective, is too lame for our nation’s scoundrels. They will post bail pronto and raise a million-dollar bounty on anybody mad enough to challenge them. But Arkham can open up a branch in the Philippines - one in Malacanang, one in the Senate, one in Congress, etc.

-Prospero Pulma Jr.-